Do I have to crumble for you to see that I am not okay?
I have peeled my nails to the flesh and my makeup can only conceal so much. I loathe myself. I loathe waking up in my body. I loathe the sight of my face. I loathe my life. I want to be asleep for as long as I can. And it all goes against my true nature.

I have managed my pain so well, it is invisible to others. I wish I could see the day that those people look at me with their heart. I wish I could see the day that someone looks into my hollow eyes, my story, look straight into my gaunt worthless empty soul ansd see the darkness, and see the abyss.....and ask if I was ever truly okay...That smile painted on my face will fall apart, the mask will melt, the costume will eat itself and the tears will blast like a hot water faucet down my face and I will cry out all that I have built up over the years.

No more strength, no more battles, no more hiding, The voice will go away..and there will only be Truth...and the truth willl set me free..

Miriam