Today I feel like staring the cold hard facts straight in the face..
Being at the gym today was like the opening scene of a movie. It would start with pitch black darkeness, and the whirring of the hair dryers and the shake shake shake of the protein shakes that have invaded and infected the ladies changeroom (me included). Once I thought of that, I felt like the main character. There I was blow drying my hair, chatting to the girls...my facade has been so perfectly mastered, it was second nature now. I was the unsuspecting victim of the day...I didn't have time to think of what happens next in the movie before it was time to do the real world again.
I've mentioned this before but you probably don't realize the precision of it all. The detail of my rigidity. Not a single move is unplanned. Every single second, my next second is planned. As much as it tires me, and I am constantly bitter about it, I do usually enjoy not having a single spare second in my day.Because every single move is planned the night before, the week before even. I am so rigid- everything is done in the same order everytime.
I walk from the mirror to my locker and think about the most efficient way of packing my things. Sweat towel in the 2nd sack of my backpack, Gym card in the front zipper. Runners in the plastic bag with my work shoes, bottle of water in my hand, jacket on first then backpack then plastic bag, then water then walk out-get to the car-back pack in the boot, everything else infront. Eat my boiled egg, eat my wrap happily knowing that's my only high energy carbohydrate source for the day, then take supplememnt #1 fish oil, supplement #2 primrose oil x2 and supplement #3 magnesium chelate x2-then seat belt on, start the car.....You get the picture, it's disturbing but it's true.
My wonderful friends say I go with the flow- it's because I am exhausted of making decisions.
Being at the gym today was like the opening scene of a movie. It would start with pitch black darkeness, and the whirring of the hair dryers and the shake shake shake of the protein shakes that have invaded and infected the ladies changeroom (me included). Once I thought of that, I felt like the main character. There I was blow drying my hair, chatting to the girls...my facade has been so perfectly mastered, it was second nature now. I was the unsuspecting victim of the day...I didn't have time to think of what happens next in the movie before it was time to do the real world again.
I've mentioned this before but you probably don't realize the precision of it all. The detail of my rigidity. Not a single move is unplanned. Every single second, my next second is planned. As much as it tires me, and I am constantly bitter about it, I do usually enjoy not having a single spare second in my day.Because every single move is planned the night before, the week before even. I am so rigid- everything is done in the same order everytime.
I walk from the mirror to my locker and think about the most efficient way of packing my things. Sweat towel in the 2nd sack of my backpack, Gym card in the front zipper. Runners in the plastic bag with my work shoes, bottle of water in my hand, jacket on first then backpack then plastic bag, then water then walk out-get to the car-back pack in the boot, everything else infront. Eat my boiled egg, eat my wrap happily knowing that's my only high energy carbohydrate source for the day, then take supplememnt #1 fish oil, supplement #2 primrose oil x2 and supplement #3 magnesium chelate x2-then seat belt on, start the car.....You get the picture, it's disturbing but it's true.
My wonderful friends say I go with the flow- it's because I am exhausted of making decisions.
